Dock Workers are longshoremen civilians Destroy All Humans!.


The Workers are Italian-American longshoremen from the East Coast working for the United States Military and Majestic briefly in Area 42 and primarily in Union Town. Although they have no fighting skills, they are important to both the Military and Majestic as they are experts in engineering and working manual labor. They speak in a stereotypical Mafia-associated Italian-American dialect.


  • Model 1/Longshoreman - This model has a tanned complexion and short, dark brown hair. They wear a maroon hat, a maroon jacket over a blue plaid shirt, jeans, and black shoes.
  • Model 2/Majestic Worker - This model has the same hair color and complexion as the longshoremen, but with a different facial structure. They wear a black hat, an orange Majestic-emblazoned uniform with rolled-up sleeves and black shoes.
  • Model 3/Dock Worker - This model wears the same hat and has the same structure as the Majestic Worker. They wear a blue shirt with rolled-up sleeves underneath maroon dungarees and brown shoes.


  • "Very funny."
  • "Help! We're being attacked by Peter Lorre!"
  • "Orson Welles was right!"
  • "My minds says Clift, but my body says Brando! Monty ain't no rebel without a cause driving a streetcar named Desire on the waterfront!"
  • "Eat your heart out, Brando! I'm on the waterfront too, ya schmuck!"
  • "What would Brando do? STELLA! STEEELLAA!"
  • "Elvis, smelvis, I can do that! Uh-huh!"
  • "I hear Hoffa is buried underneath these docks. Oh wait, he's not dead, I don't know anything about that!"
  • "Ah, I think I just crapped my pants."
  • "I'm getting out of here!"
  • "Man I hate my job. Lift crate, move crate, stand on crate, destroy crate, that's no fun."
  • "Maybe I should get up to Jersey and see Uncle Tony this weekend."
  • "Why do dock workers all wear these funny hats? Makes me like some commie kerouac beatnik!"



  • Their thoughts reference movies starring the actor Marlon Brando, as well as The Sopranos.