The Urban Crazies are alcoholic, crazy hobos who wear sandwich boards on themselves that say "The End is Nigh" (ironically, they don't know what nigh means). They are overall the most common type of Crazy, as they are the only type of Crazy that walks around with a respawn. They can be commonly found in Union Town.
- "What am I doing here?"
- "I don't remember anything other than the bright light. Oh, and the warm, moist feeling afterwards."
- "They don't see but I do, oh yes, I do."
- "When lord, will they probe me again?"
- "Who am I?"
- "What's my name again?"
- "1,742 bottles of beer on the wall, 1,742 bottles of beer..."
- "These sheep walk around like, errm, sheep."
- "The End is Nigh, it's really, really nigh."
- "Screw it; the end isn't nigh who am I kidding. What does nigh mean anyways?"
- "They all think I'm crazy, I know it. Well, I' am crazy, but that's hardly the point."