The Suburban Females are fairly average, albeit with some issues such as needing to take valium every once and a while and are somewhat competitive. They're based off the 1950's housewife stereotype. They are some of the most common humans in the first game. They can be commonly found in Santa Modesta.
- "If my kitchen isn't the cleanest and the shiniest kitchen in this whole town, I'll crush anyone who disagrees with me, with my dainty manicured fists!"
- "I love- I love- JAZZ! Oh the shame of it, Charlie Parker, how you have corrupted me."
- "The sexiest word in the English language? Tuperware."
- "Hmm, Bob never even looks at me anymore. Thank God."
- "Hmm, lovely lawn Judy, beautiful garden dear. You man-stealing, stuck-up witch!"
- "I'm afraid of Virginia Woolf!"
- "I like that Huffman, Ike is bald and shifty. Is is wrong to be so shallow?"
- "Have you gotten a look at my new brassiere? I could torpedo a U-Boat with these things!"
- "Now where did I put my kids?