The Suburban Crazies are essentially crackpots go around town trying to communicate with the aliens. They wear tinfoil hats and dress in labcoats. They also seem to have difficulty finding a job and live with their mother. One notable Suburban Crazy helps you out to find Bert Whither, but the catch is you have scan him often. He tells you to shoot the machine that's creating a shield around the place and he also warns you of the machine-gun turrets.
They can be only be found in Santa Modesta.
- "They were like these astronauts in some sort of a star trek, in a galaxy far, far away, but they turned out to be DAMN DIRTY APES! YOU MANIACS!"
- "What was that?"
- "I knew you would come!"
- "I love Bert Whither, even though he called me a crackpot in that TV interview he said lukewarm fusion wouldn't work, but I know it would if I had gotten the funding, but I didn't thanks to Bert Whither. Bastard."
- "I heard that the dolphins are doing a good job contacting the extraterrestrials. I heard that from the mice."
- "I love my mother...a lot. Is that so wrong?"
- "Come down spacemen? Let's be friends? Stupid communicator hat not working!"
- "Wild eyes, unruly hair, pocket protector, still lives with his mother, how could anybody say no?"
- "Please! I'm scared of reality!" (When being picked up by PK).
- They are spoofs off of conspiracy theorists.
- They are the only type of "Crazy" in Destroy All Humans! to play a role in the game's story.