The Rural Crazies are crazy farm ladies that show up in some areas of Turnipseed Farm. They appear to be very paranoid and enjoy being probed. They are the least common of the Crazies.
- "Why does that lady have tentacles coming out of her ears, I wonder if she's an alien...Helloooo!"
- "Nixon is an alien, so is Huffman, so is Doris Day and John Wayne! Why am I the only who seems to notice?"
- "Reality bites, what a concept."
- "Redrum, redrum!"
- "Probe me again, Oh God, please probe me again!"