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Cryptosporidium (Crypto) is the anti-hero protagonist of the Destroy All Humans! series. He is a Furon alien invader, and the central agent of his species' operation to harvest ancient Furon DNA from the human race to ensure their continued survival.

Overview[]

Appearance[]

Crypto looks similar to the stereotypical Grey aliens but with pointed teeth. His eyes are reflective like all Furons. Crypto wears a space suit with pieces of armor throughout the years.

Personality[]

Crypto is very aggressive, amoral, ruthless, and sociopathic, making him a very effective soldier for the Furon Empire. His most obvious trait is his appetite for destruction, always favoring the direct approach when on missions or "blowing stuff up" as he calls it. While Crypto is clever enough to plan, he has little regard for subtlety or strategy, much to the dismay of his more calculating mission officer, Orthopox.

While he initially despised humanity upon his arrival on Earth, he mellows out in the sequels, no doubt due to spending years mingling with humans. In the first game, he shows a mild perverted side when he's about to probe Miss Rockwell, but said perversion is more pronounced in later games, though this is probably due to him having acquired genitalia in his new clone bodies.

When with people, enemies and allies alike, Crypto is very sarcastic, mocking, or simply threatening to them. He often speaks with a variety of wise-cracking remarks. Crypto is often inclined to killing those who he simply doesn't like, unless ordered against such urges due to mission requirements. He also doesn't like being called a "little green man" and gets mad when someone mistakes his grey skin color for green.

Despite his sociopathic traits, he is not without morals. Crypto does show that he is loyal to his allies. He freaks out when Natalya dies on the moon and when Orthopox was almost destroyed in Fantasy Atoll, even trying to save the latter. He even mourns the Master when he witnessed his supposed death. Also, Crypto wouldn't kill innocent Furons for no reason, claiming to be "a soldier, not a mass murderer", unless they turned out to be worthless clones like on the Fourth Ring of Furon site. In the Big Willy Unleashed game, he thought Colonel Kluckin's plan for wanting to grind human bodies into fast food (brainstems included), to be madness. This implies he doesn't kill without purpose.

Biography[]

Crypto's history is unknown up to the events of the games. He worked with Orthopox for quite some time before coming to Earth. His story can be divided up by the number of clones he's had.

Cryptosporidium-136[]

Crypto 136

Crypto 136

The first Crypto clone to appear in the game. He's sent to Earth to search for Furon DNA, but is accidentally shot down by a missile in mid-launch in Area 42. Human soldiers surround the Saucer, and Crypto emerges out mortally wounded. He tries to fight back after crashing, but he collapses to the ground. His weapons and Saucer are taken and reverse-engineered by Majestic to develop new weapons. 136 is dissected and leads to the unlocking of the Furon genes and the creation of Majestic's Psi-Mutants. His capture is the reason Crypto-137 urges Pox to come to Earth. His remains are later destroyed by Crypto-137 so no more experiments can be performed on his "brother".

Cryptosporidium-137 (Destroy All Humans!)[]

Crypto 137 first appearance

Orthopox and Crypto 137 are alerted to Crypto 136's predicament and Crypto urges Pox to go and rescue him. Since their species is dying out from lack of pure DNA, and humanity's gene pool has Furon DNA inside them, thanks to a Furon being on "shore leave" millennia ago from destroying the Martians, Pox agrees to this to collect DNA. Crypto is sent to Earth to harvest Furon DNA from human brain stems, locate and rescue his previous clone, and spearhead a Furon invasion of Earth.

Crypto-137 first landed on Turnipseed Farm in 1957 to search for the dominant species on Earth, which led to him killing cows, farmers, police, and wiping out an army force. He headed towards Rockwell in order to investigate human culture. Though this led to the discovery of experiments by the military on local cows. After several missions in Rockwell and Santa Modesta, Crypto and Pox discover the Majestic, a dangerous government organization determined to fight against their invasion plans.

Majestic planned to control human minds to turn them paranoid and aggressive, and make life difficult for the Furons, but Crypto uses their own scheme against them to bend them to the Furons' will instead. He also found out about 136's fate in Area 42 and swore revenge, by using a nuke to destroy the desert base. Afterward, Crypto headed toward Capitol City in order to hunt down General Armquist, but he crash-lands in Union Town. The Majestic captured him and his Saucer to be studied, but he escapes and recovers his ship in time.

After that, Armquist meets the Majestic leader, Silhouette, and attempts to unite the four defense branches under the Majestic's leadership against the Furons. Later, he assassinates the President and goes after Majestic's leader, Silhouette, to end their futile resistance once and for all. She had a giant, 50-foot robot with Huffman's brain inside it waiting to attack, but Crypto manages to defeat it, then fights and takes out Silhouette at the Octagon.

President Crypto

Following Silhouette's death, the President seemed to be found alive and the invasion being proved a false alarm, but really, he is just a disguise for Crypto so he can set up "testing centers" across the nation to fight "toxic pollutants inside their minds", when those centers are really chambers to extract Furon DNA from the humans. Disguising himself as the President, Crypto has taken control of the American government, without the people even realizing it.

Cryptosporidium-138 (Destroy All Humans! 2)[]

Crypto 137 died some time before 1969. His new clone, Cryptosporidium-138 was active from 1969 to sometime before 1979. He is the first Furon in millennia to have pure Furon DNA, which gave him improved mental abilities and fully functional genitalia which made some drastic changes in his personality. Crypto also still masquerades as the American President since last game.

KGB spies learned of the Furons' presence on Earth and have deemed them a threat to the Soviet Union. In an attempt to eliminate the alien invaders, they launch a nuclear missile to blow up the Furon Mothership and Pox with it and try to assassinate Crypto at the same time, who is in Bay City at the time. Fortunately, he escaped with Pox, whose body was destroyed, but managed to download his mind into a Furon hologram device. The two Furons are now at war with the KGB. The latter are determined to hunt and destroy them, but also seek to deprive them of humanity's Furon DNA to drive their race to extinction.

Crypto 2

Crypto and Natalya Ivanova

Along the way, Crypto joins forces with the former KGB agent, Natalya Ivanova, who has gone rogue and seeks to uncover a conspiracy that controls the Soviet nation behind the scenes. Though Natalya is human and Crypto an alien invader, they share the same goal of preserving the human race and Crypto becomes attracted to her. They discover that the KGB have created a type of spore that causes humans to turn into monsters.

At the KGB base in Takoshima, Crypto and Natalya are addressed by the mastermind behind the spore plot, the Soviet Premier Milenkov. He shows them a film of his men using spores on a Takoshimese intern, who transforms into a giant Godzilla-like monster called "Kojira". After defeating Kojira, Crypto follows Natalya to Tunguska, home of "Project Solaris".

In the Soviet Union, they discover another alien race that crash landed on Earth, the Blisk. They are ancient enemies of the Furons they thought they had wiped out during the Martian War. After destroying their crashed warship and rescuing Natalya from a gas chamber, Crypto meets Milenkov face to face, who then retreats to his Moon base, Solaris, in a Blisk shuttle.

On the Moon, Crypto discovers that Project Solaris is a Blisk superweapon designed to bombard the Earth with spores. Crypto disguises himself as a Soviet cosmonaut leader, provoking them to turn against the Blisk. Then, Crypto attempts to sabotage the weapon's firing mechanism, confronting Milenkov upon succeeding. He then reveals that ever since the Blisk crashed on Earth in the Tunguska event of 1908, they have infiltrated and ruled the Soviet Union government behind the scenes. Each Premier before him had been a Blisk and they were responsible for the October Revolution and the Cold War, the latter of which to encourage the building of nuclear arms. Milenkov also reveals that they do not wish to enslave humanity but plan to bombard the Earth with radiation to turn the Earth into an irradiated, water planet to be their new home, but will kill all the humans in the process and the Furon DNA with it. After their conversation, Milenkov takes his leave.

Crypto and Natalya wage a final battle to save the Earth for the fate of both their species by assaulting and successfully destroying the Blisk hive with the O.M.G.W.T.F. virus Pox developed in his lab, but Milenkov appears and shoots Natalya in the back. He then reveals his true form, a heavily armored Blisk. Soon after defeating Milenkov, Crypto is relaxing in the Saucer and revealed he has cloned Natalya, who eagerly awaits to mate with him. Crypto admits having made a "few adjustments."

Big Willy Unleashed[]

Crypto from big willy unleshed

The misnumbered Crypto

During the 70's, Crypto has resigned the presidency and gave up on controlling America's government, broke up with Natalya, and moved to Harbor City, spending his days watching television. However, Crypto is soon called back to action by Orthopox to support Big Willy's, a fast-food franchise started by Pox, who also reveals it is actually part of a cannibalistic scheme to dispose of all the human corpses that Crypto leaves around by grinding up their meat to use in their food product to serve to human customers.

Crypto and Pox work to keep their franchise running and prevent exposure of this scheme by their enemies, but soon find out that Colonel Kluckin' and his fried chicken franchise is their true enemy. Crypto also uses a new weapon, the giant Big Willy mech. His missions lead him to places like Fairfield, Fantasy Atoll, and Vietmahl. In the end, Kluckin' wants to copy their scheme of using human bodies for his own product, by clearing out human battlefields of their dead, a free and legal way to get meat and make billions. This would cause the Furons go out of business and have bodies pile up in streets again, exposing them.

Following Kluckin's death in Vietmahl in their epic showdown between two giant mechs, Orthopox decided to give up the fast-food business, seeing free enterprise more difficult than a Furon invasion. Pox gives Crypto the money collected from the restaurant's proceeds, which Crypto intends to use to start his own business in a little town in Nevada.

Cryptosporidium-139 (Path of the Furon)[]

Going somewhere

Yet another Crypto clone was created in the mid-late 70's after 138, when he crashed his old Saucer while "drunk flying," likely mourning the death of Natalya. After the crash, Crypto opens a casino called the "Space Dust" (a parody of "Stardust Resort & Casino") in Las Paradiso, which the Furons use to maintain a steady flow of cash and Furon DNA. Soon after, they discover that the local mob family has sent a spy to gather information on them. Crypto infiltrates their casino and drives out their customers, leading the mob to go to war with Crypto. He defeats the mob, destroys all their profits and takes control of Paradiso.

He begins to hear a mysterious voice instructing him in the Paths of Enlightenment and how they grant him new mental powers. Then suddenly, strange alien creatures attack the Space Dust, which Pox identifies as "Nexosporidium Warriors", supposedly extinct. Crypto defeats them but has attracted the military. This forces the Furons to annihilate all of Paradiso to erase any evidence of their presence there, including the casino that Crypto worked so hard to build. They both surmise that someone wants them dead. Crypto vows revenge against the one responsible and they hide in Sunnywood to figure things out, where the duo assumes that Curt Calvin, head of the Lunarian Church of Alientology, sent the Nexos and is another Furon harvesting DNA on Earth. Pox and Crypto decide to stage a "big alien arrival" to draw out Calvin. He confronts him to make him reveal his Furon form, but a Nexo Walker suddenly steps on him, revealing that he is human. Crypto destroys the walker and is suddenly shot with a tranquilizer dart and faints.

He awakes three days later in a monastery in the city of Shen Long run by a Furon martial arts expert called "The Master" who was the mysterious voice in Crypto's head. He agrees to be his disciple to fight against Saxon, a former student of the Master who got power-hungry and now leads a local triad to oppose the Master, who claims he is Crypto's true enemy. After many fights, Saxon succeeds in killing the Master in front of Crypto. Enraged, he finds and battles Saxon, until Nexos arrive and vaporize him, proving he wasn't the one who attacked his casino in Paradiso. Crypto learns that these Nexos were cloned on Earth by Francodyne Industries.

The two head off to Belleville in France to target Henri Crousteau, head of the company, who is working on a virus to remove Furon DNA from the human genome, which would crumble of the Furon Empire. After a few missions, Crypto stops the Nexo Walkers carrying the virus and beats Crousteau. As Crousteau is near-death, Crypto discovers that the Furons were capable of producing synthetic DNA as opposed to the real material he spent decades gathering this whole time, and someone was controlling Crousteau's Nexos from the Furon homeworld to attack Crypto's casino. They come to the conclusion that their true enemy was Emperor Meningitis. The two go back home to Furon to kill the emperor.

On the Fourth Ring of Furon, Crypto tries to kill the emperor in his own palace but doesn't work and gets kicked out of the city. After working to get back into the city, they plan to break into the palace by getting Pox a new clone body and use its biometrics to get in. They acquire classified data, a supply of clone jelly, and commission an expert to mold his new body, but Pox receives a monkey body instead. To attack the palace, Crypto convinces the captured humans from the dome to riot in order to keep the security busy while they enter the palace doors. Crypto confronts the emperor, who attacks using a giant, robotic bust of himself, but Crypto managed to defeat it.

After Meningitis's defeat, he roughly interrogates him, but he disintegrates into dust from 500 years of age, infuriating Crypto more. All of a sudden, the Master appears before him from the Jade Talisman on his neck, who revealed he was the real conspirator and behind all his misfortunes, including the Nexos and exposing the synthetic DNA, using him to usurp the emperor and remake the Furon Empire to his vision of philosophy and enlightenment. Shocked and angered by the truth, Crypto decides he is done blindly following others and hints at Pox to slam him into a wall, which turned the Master into paste. However, Crypto is depressed that he lost the casino and is now out of a job and eats some synthetic DNA, which made him hurl all over the floor. Pox tells Crypto that as long as synthetic DNA can make Furons sick, there will always be a reason to destroy all humans. Crypto goes back to Earth, while Pox stays behind to take Meningitis's place on the throne. They say their goodbyes, then the Furons come to greet their new Emperor.

Weapons and Abilities[]

Main article: Cryptosporidium/Abilities and Equipment

Cryptosporidium is a Furon invader equipped with alien technology like a jetpack to fly to great heights, a shield generator to protect against damage, and advanced weapons to destroy all obstacles in his path and harvest DNA. He also wields psychic abilities he uses to move objects, scan minds, extract brains, hypnotize enemies, and disguise himself to escape danger and infiltrate areas. Crypto also gained the ability to transform matter into ammunition and learned to stop time itself.

Additionally, Crypto pilots a flying Saucer that lets him travel around Earth or space and is armed with his most devastating weapons to fight armies and bigger threats, destroy buildings and towns, and an abduction beam to move large objects and harvest humans. To avoid unwanted attention, the Saucer has a cloaking function that turns the ship invisible.

He also has cloning technology that allows him to be resurrected as a clone the moment he is killed, making him nearly immortal.

Gallery[]

Main article: Cryptosporidium/Gallery

Quotes[]

Main article: Cryptosporidium/Quotes

Trivia[]

  • Crypto resembles the Martians from the popular 1996 film Mars Attacks.
    • He also resembles the typical depiction of a grey alien.
  • The definition for the word, Cryptosporidium, is a microscopic parasite that causes the disease cryptosporidiosis. Both the parasite and the disease are commonly known as "Crypto."
  • Crypto apparently has a mother who is very unloving and "his cloning tube is more loveable than her".
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