Bert Whither's Cook works at a diner in Santa Modesta. Crypto can either holobob as him or he can be used to to get inside the secret location of where Bert Whither is hiding. He seems to have a low opinion on the guards, saying it's obvious he's just delivering food and is scared of the gun turrets.
- "Those stupid guards with their stupid questions. Obviously, i'm just there to deliver food to Bert Whither, what the hell else would I be doing there?" (inner thoughts)
- "Sure is weird, Bert Whither all holed up in a damp cave. There's got to be a funny story there." (inner thoughts)
- "Man, walking past all those gun turrets scare the crap outta me. Lucky I brought an extra pair of briefs." (inner thoughts)