The Armed Hippies a small faction of freedom fighters that fight against Crypto and the Military. They we're initally led by Coyote Bongwater, then later Clayton Cartwell, Jr.. After Crypto kills Coyote Bongwater and then later captures Clayton Cartwell, Jr., the group is disbanded. They only appeared in a few missions.
They look exactly like the regular hippies found in Bay City, only difference is that they carry shotguns or drive armored hippie vans.
- They are one of the few times Civilians will openly attack Crypto besides the Military (the other examples being the Farmhands and the Russian Mafia.)
- Unlike the Farmhands or the Russian Mafia, they do not appear outside of the missions or odd jobs they appear in and are only temporary.