The Albion Urban Males are busy and stern men who question and ponder a lot in their thoughts. They appear to have very little tolerance towards threats like Crypto, and dislike Americans and the Labour Party. Unlike the American Men, they seem to be perfectly fine with the Albion Hippies. They can be found all over in Albion.
- "I think I hear my wife calling me."
- "Little green American! Aieee!" (when spotting Crypto)
- "It's childhood's end!"
- "My word, an extraterrestial visitor!"
- "Oh god, it's horrible. The ugliest thing since Neil Kinnock!"
- "I need a secretary with larger breasts. Or smaller brassieres." (inner thoughts)
- "I think my hat's stuck."
- "Those mods are ruining Britain! Sure looks like fun though."
- "I say, put me down!" (when using PK)
- "So this is what getting high feels like."